Having trouble in your married life? Do not know how to cope up with the bickering in your married life? Tired of the trifling every day? To avoid all the negativities in your relationship it is important that you understand your relationship with your spouse clearly and also the present condition of your relationship. To avoid the bickering it is necessary that you understand the emotions and feelings of your partner and try to understand his or her needs and wants. Only by that you can cope up with all the bickering. Like the journey of life is not a smooth one, the journey through your married life is also a rollercoaster ride, full of ups and downs and these ups and downs are what makes it special and worthwhile.

You will hardly find any married couple who do not have any trifling with their partners daily, but what makes them different from each other is that how they cope up with it and carry on with their married life happily and successfully. Those who can take things easily and handle issues is the ones who sail through their married life smoothly. Many will take the trifling as trifling whereas others will make trifling a big issue and carry on with it, this is what causes someone to have a unsuccessful married life and lead to bigger decisions, in certain cases even separation or divorce.

It is important to know how to cope with bickering in married life. Some of the easy to use and fool proof strategies are:

1. Do not continue the fight, if you cannot control your emotions then you can star off by going off to bed without saying a word. Let your partner shout. But make sure you do not portray that you are ignoring your partner or not listening to his or her point. Tactfully avoid the fight and give way to vent out your anger if any rather than showing it on your partner. Showing it on your partner will not help, it will just ruin the situation more, so sleep it off. By the morning all the anger and frustrations of the last nights’ issue would be gone and you will be the happy couple again.

2. Take a break, however small it may be from the fight, however small it may be, even if it’s for a minute. Just a minute can ease out the situation and lighten up things. It will be easier to start the reset button for the couple.

3. You should be brave enough to accept your faults and also intelligent enough to find out ways to rectify it. Nothing can help you stop bickering than to face the fact that the fault behind something is completely yours. You should not be ashamed of owning up at least not in front of your partner. Just remember the more you give in to facts the lesser troubles you have in your married life. If you own up to your faults it will make your spouse realize that you are ashamed of your actions and that you are truly sorry for it. Be apologetic and show that you can do anything to mend the situation and make up for it. It works best in case of most married couples and most of the times you would find that the partner who is placing the accusations will melt with the apologies and get rid of the bickering.

4. Try to find a humor behind the whole situation and quarrel if any. But be careful that you do not overlook the whole situation and avoid the point your partner is trying to make. This way you might annoy him or her more so much so that they start accusing you of things that you have not even done. So be tactful in finding the humor and make your partner laugh and forget about the issue that annoyed her or him.

5. A marriage is a very delicate and emotional relationship so it is important that no one’s emotions are hurt and that you get emotional stability in the relationship. So it is necessary at times that you touch each other. By just holding your partner tight and hugging her while she is bickering or is furious about something that you have done or you failed to do. This will give her the emotional stability and ease her from the mental turmoil.

6. Avoid using ‘but. ‘…but I don’t know what happened.’, ‘… but why did you do it?’ these kind of sentence extensions specially using ‘but’ has been proved to cause the harm. Do not add extra things to your actual point. Studies have shown that when you use ‘but’ to continue a sentence and make it double it irritates the other partner even more. Try avoiding it as much as possible.

7. Always remember that you are both important to each other and to the two of you this marriage is important. So you have to take care of yourself, your partner and the relationship that you share. Keep it in mind that by hook or by crook you have to maintain harmony in your married life. Think it is just a phase that your partner is going through and being his or her closest one you should understand him or her rather than showing your temper on them.

A marriage is not a very easy thing to handle, you have to keep in mind that to keep the bickering away and lead a happy and successful married life you need to understand things with a deeper meaning. Just overlooking shady areas will not help. You have to face the situations and walk hand in hand till the end. Small road blocks in the form bickering and misunderstanding might crop up so stay close and connected. In the end the path and the destination will be beautiful. Cope up with bickering.

Raja Kumar