Charlotte Bronte’s novel “Jane Eyre” had a character that in the modern world is known as the “madwoman in the attack”. She was the hero, Earl of Rochester’s wife. It was because of her that the Earl and Jane could not get married. Any modern reader would ask “Why the Earl doesn’t did not give his wife a divorce?” Well, the answer is simple, at that time in the Victorian era; one cannot give divorce to a person who is mentally ill. Rochester wife was a madwoman. But in our generation people rarely have divorce because of the fact that their spouse is a person who is mentally ill. Rather we have divorces even on this ground that our partner snores too much. Well, jokes apart it is true that nowadays divorce cases are increasing and rather institution like marriage is now questionable. A very common reason according to the socialists and the psychologists of the world are the fact that in today’s world stress is increasing with increase in the needs of the man. Life has become complex. And so did marital relationship.

Stress in the office

Today’s world is not a Charlotte Bronte’s society, where only the men and some women from the second class or middle class used to work. In today’s world everyone earn her/his own living.  But earning involves lots of hard work, lots of labor, and also sometimes politics, commonly known as the office politics. All this result in a stress which is sometimes unbearable, and thus a simple question like “why you are late?” or “why didn’t you call me, or received my phone?” lead to explosion, or rather to a volcanic eruption. And you shout at the person, who is close to you, only because of the fact that you are stressed out. You try to get freedom from the work pressure, and the stress related to it, and you find that the easiest way is to shout out loud. You cannot shout at your boss who is continuously putting pressure on you, one cannot shout at a colleague who is back stabbing him/her, one cannot shout at his/her computer because it’s not working, or to the company which is paying les but pressurizing more. So the best way is to shout at your spouse and show him/her that you are angry. And the person, who is before a machinegun, may be also going through a same situation and she/he also erupts at the same moment. Thus a simple question turned to the battle Waterloo!

No times for rhymes

Most couples have children or a child, who has a school and tuitions and swimming classes, and karate classes, classical or western music class and so on. You have to keep a watch on what they are doing in their schools, or what they are learning in all these classes, you have attend your child’s parent-teacher meeting, you have to be aware of the complaints that are coming from all these areas, and most importantly one have to know his child’s needs, and wants, and of course his/her problem. All these makes you feel that it’s only your responsibility to take care of the child, and that’s what you tell your partner, even though he/she is taking care of the child and you are well aware of the fact. Yet you shout and tell that you are the only one who is doing everything for the child and your husband/wife is not all caring about the child and you are the one who is doing all the duties and your spouse being a mother/father is not at all caring towards her/his child, and they did not have time to sit with the child and listen to his/her favorites rhymes and enjoy the moment with the child. You tell many more things which you must be aware off, but at the same time it is also true that what to tell; deep inside you also know that whatever you are telling is not all true. There are many things like budget, and your kids complaining that you do not have time for him/her and deep inside a man/woman is aware that to some extent this complaint is a true one. And deep inside there is a guilt that is continuously working, but at the same time you do not want to accept the fact and thus become stressed out and shout out loud, or prefer a cold war by taunting your partner and by keeping your mouth shut, though no one has asked you to shut up.

Mutual fund can be a reason for mutual separation

After one got married one started thinking about his/her future. One started investing on different provident fund, or in mutual funds or in life insurance, so that you save money and secure your future. But in securing the future one sometimes destroys his/her present.  And sometimes if you face a loss in the investment you have made, and if that include a huge sum of money then the stress one have is immense. No wonder mutual funds investments are subjects to both market and marriage risk.

Dutiful child

Your son is having his exam or may be your daughter is working on her new school project and she needs your help when you get a call that your brother is having an affair and your parents are unhappy with it and now you have to handle the situation, and have to talk with your brother and asked him to break up the relationship and be a good boy who is always obedient and listen to what their parents says. Or you have call from your mother-in-law who is having some health problems. You are dutiful child and you cannot tell them you are busy now so it is better to wife/husband that they are not at all dutiful towards their in – laws.

Conclusion

Actually civilization has both its pros and cons. It gives many things to us but they are not free of cost. You have to pay for it.


Raja Kumar

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