You might have got to know that your neighbor or you close acquaintance has an extra marital affair, no one knows about it. The news of it makes you think ‘He? How is this possible?’ but unfortunately the rumors might be true, though the reason behind it might vary from person to person and most of the time it’s a lame yet valid one. Next thing you will do is pity the wife or the husband respectively. Extra marital affairs are not of a single kind. Studies have shown that extra marital affairs occur of various reasons and are of various kinds.

A lot of frustrations, emotional detachments, unsatisfactory love life, no importance in spouse’s life, no understanding, comfort zone, mid life crisis, etc. are the few reasons that might lead to a blooming extra marital affair. All these reasons in most of the cases only in the extremes of their conditions lead to such as affair. Extra marital affairs are generally looked down upon, and why not? Disloyalty to your partner is something you should not be doing, but in case of onlookers, you should not judge a person by just what he has done or has been doing but get into the depth of it and find out why he is doing so, what makes him disloyal and all such related questions. Once you have answered all these questions you will know that he is not the only one to be blamed, the other partner will also has some faults or the other. Both the partners are equally guilty. So either you pity none or you pity both.

Kind of Extramarital affairs are:

1. Flings – Flings are generally those kinds of extra marital affairs that are momentary. These momentary feelings develop when one sees a physically attractive person of the opposite sex mostly of same age groups. They get strongly drawn to the person and soon enough get attached emotionally to them. These flings might occur due to many reasons the main ones being a passing emotional turmoil or a need to get emotional security.  This attraction may be momentary but has a lot of emotion attached with it. For a moment or even some days it seems that this new male or female can replace ones husband or wife respectively but soon enough the attraction fades away and then the people having such affairs think that they have wronged their spouse and start repenting. No doubt flings are the most minor and short span extra marital affairs.

2. Romantic love affairs – these affairs develop when a person starts feeling the warmth of love and affection for another person of the opposite sex other than their husband or wife. They are genuinely in love with the third person. The reason for such as affair can be because the third person might knowingly or unknowingly provide the level of comfort, security and emotional support that the spouse is unable to provide or maybe more than the he or she can provide. This kind of extra marital affairs are most dangerous for a married couple. The emotional attachment, in this case, unlike the other kinds of extra marital affairs is very high. These kinds of romantic love affairs are capable of leading to divorces and foul disagreements and quarrels between the married couple. There is the risk of even losing the partner as they might change their priorities and loyalties.

3. One night stands or Serial affairs – this is the most casual kind of an extra marital affair. In this kind of affairs the partners lack emotional stability and attachment. They lack excitement in their relationship and so in search of excitement in their life they go in search of those who provide them with the same, which in most of the cases are more than one person and so they have multiple partners. But this kind of extra marital affair falls weak when the third person seeks emotional support and commitment. It leads to confusion in case of the disloyal partner and complications in the extra marital serial affair or one night stand whatever you call it.

4. Long Term Affairs – these kinds of affairs generally occur as a result of emotional pressure due to finances, religion, caste, children, etc. A long term affair as the name suggests is developed over a long period and in this kind of extra marital affair the 3 people concerned behave very leniently towards each other. In most of the cases all three of them have the knowledge about each other but they decide to keep their ends strong by not interfering in each other’s life and actions. The wife or the husband of the strayed partner respectively overlooks the other partner’s personal life thus maintaining harmony in the triangular relationship.


5. Emotional Sexual Affair – The most heart breaking extra marital affair is the emotional sexual affair. If the loyal partner has the knowledge about his or her strayed partner in this matter it leads to nothing but broken dreams and heart breaks. Along with the love the unfaithful spouse also gives sexual pleasure to the new partner and in turn the third person meets the sexual needs of the strayed spouse. It leads to a lot of problems in a married relationship. It is like a signal to show that there is nothing left of the married relationship and that it will just be unfruitful to cling on to the marriage.

6. Sexual addiction affairs – in these sexual affairs all the strayed partner wants is sexual pleasure, to fill in the emptiness in their lives. This generally occurs as a result of mid life crisis. The sexual pleasure seems to fulfill their emotional needs and it is like emotional get a way, an escape route for feelings and a vent for frustrations and sadness and emotional turmoil and all those other negative feeling is ones’ life.

In case of an extramarital affair you need to understand what has gone wrong in your married life.

Raja Kumar

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