Love marriage or arranged marriage? Which is better or rather which is more reliable? The never ending debate is on all over the world and especially in India for ages. If you do a survey or a polling you will get the result that will not help you in taking any side, you will get a mixed reaction and the poll results for both love and arranged marriage will be almost fifty each. The results will only confuse you if you wish to decide which is better and rightly so because forming a concrete opinion about which is better and which is worse is not possible. It is a matter of perspective and will. You might thing arranged marriage is better than love marriage where as your friend might think otherwise. If you say that you can give valid reasons and show exactly why arranged marriage is better, with examples, you friend will be equally strong in his or her point and show you clearly why love marriages are better than arranged marriages. While in an internet polling you reach the conclusion that arranged marriage is better, in another similar internet poll you will see the results quite opposite. The whole debate of love marriage vs. arranged marriage is ambiguous and confusing.

Marriages are not just a bond between two people; it is a bond between two families as well. These days you will find there are many different kinds of marriages such as arranges love marriage etc. these are just individual concepts. The main concepts, that is the love and the arranged marriage remains the same. It is said that marriages are made in heaven and all the earthlings have to do is that find that perfect partner. Just that some find their perfect one themselves. Such marriages are known as love marriages and some depend on others to find their perfect one who is just meant for them. The latter is known as arranged marriage, but mind you this dependence is not bad. Many a times it is the best thing one has ever done and the best decision one has ever taken by letting someone else decide.

What do you mean by love marriage?

Love marriage refers to a marriage between two people of the opposite sex who are already in love with each other. Two mature people get acquainted with each other and after considering all possible aspects decide that they want to spend the rest of their lives together and long for each other’s companionship. They are supposed to have been in love and by each other for a long time before marriage, if not a long time then for at least quite some time. They two people in love decide to get married and then their families get involved and the bonds start forming.

What do you mean by an arranged marriage?

Arranged marriages are those marriages in which the families are involved right from the beginning. It is in many cases the families that decide on the bride or the groom for their sons or daughters respectively, obviously with the consent of the person to get married. in most of the cases the bride and the groom hardly know each other or even if they know, they are not properly acquainted with each other before they meet for the first time on the occasion of the families bonding and deciding if these two young people are compatible with each other and if they are the best match for each other or not. If everything goes well and as per plan the marriage date is decided and the two people are allowed to catch up with each other before they tie the knot.

It is a very wrong idea that Indian prefers arranged marriage more than anything. If you talk 10 married couples you will find about 4 to 5 of them have had arranged marriage whereas the rest have had love marriages. A large part of the last generation believes that arranged marriage is better but both kinds of marriages have positive and negative points. In love marriage the emotional stability is more than in an arranged marriage. This is so because in love marriage two people have already shared the space and been by each other whereas in an arranged marriage the two people married to each other get to start all afresh and get to know each other’s want and needs, likes and dislikes and characters slow and by. It takes some time for these people to get acquainted to each other and share the space and be comfortable with each other.

Falling in love with each other after getting married is known to be a really sweet emotion, sweeter than falling in love in general. Later on, if you consider and compare an arranged marriage and a love marriage it in not impossible that the former has more emotion stability and more responsibility towards each other.  This is like this because in a love marriage people might lose interest in each other because they start taking each other for granted as they have got each other and been in a relationship for a very long time.  In an arranged marriage, the couples have not had enough of each other so they crave for each other’s company more and more.

The younger generation generally prefers love marriage because they wish to be independent and choosing a person of their choice is the first step towards it. People say love marriages lead to separations and divorces later on in life but it is a completely wrong concept divorces does not happen to either love marriage couples or arranged marriage couples in particular, it depends on the person sharing the bond and the bond itself. It depends on the cope up capability of the two people with issues and tensions. So love marriage and arranged marriage both stand strong in their own positions and the debate remains never ending.


Raja Kumar

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