“Which marriage is better? Love or arrange.” This Question can take Years in Discussing. India Is a Country that is getting inspired from western living standard but also has its roots in its ancient culture. Indian Vedas, though, mention and recognize love marriage as an acceptable type of marriage in society, but India had forgotten it in course of 1000 years. In last century, love marriages were very rare in this country. Very few and countable incidents are known that are negligible in this populated country.

Everyone feels few butterflies in the stomach on being asked about marriage or a girl/boy of his/her choice. Everyone has its own opinion about marrying. Love marriages are more common in modern India and its growing with a rapid rate. But still there are many who have a different opinion about love marriages. Few communities don’t allow love marriage just for sake of their traditions and old thoughts. It’s a question of Debate that which marriage is better.

Every marriage is based on love, sex, family. Till late 90’s of last century, love marriage were nowhere in picture. Indian society was a firm believer of a marriage system, where parents were the deciding persons for couples to marry. But the trend is changing now. Now youth wants to decide his/ her life partner on self. Air of love is blowing with a faster pace than earlier and the debate over the better marriage system is on full swing. Today’s youth is independent open and open-mouthed. It was the ages when girls and boys were ready to marry anyone of their parent’s choice. Now youth interacts, maintains a friendly relationship before committing to marriages.

Every second in India has its own complex opinion about this simple debate. It’s better to understand the marriages and history of this system in India to understand the complexity of this debate. In very early of Indian history, various types of marriages were in practice; even marrying in exchange of money was also acceptable.

But in span of 2500 years this marriage system adopted a unique shape which was in practice till last century and now it’s changing in influence of the contemporary world. India adopted caste system and with this marriage got restricted within same caste. Marrying other caste person was condemned and punished. Gradually caste got divided in sub caste and marriages of a girl in lower sub caste got banned. Hence the option of marriage got restricted to a very few.

Further marrying in same Gotra (persons believed to be of same origin and caste) was also condemned. Now it was little difficult for boy or a girl to choose a partner of choice considering all these facts. In later years foreign invaders invaded India and the population here started Parda pratha(a system obligate women to cover her faces). Also child marriage came in to practice to stop the possibilities of inter caste or inter religion marriages. Also Sati partha( a system obligates women to get burned with her husband’s corpse) came in to existence.

Many historians believe that all these ill systems had an endeavor of suppressing the possibilities of love marriages. All this happened to keep a system alive. Now this system is changing and a numbers of inter caste love marriages are coming in picture. Sati system, child marriages parda system has no place in Indian constitution. Indian law allows its public to marry any caste girls/boy but even today very few love relations gets success to get converted in love marriages.

Both the marriages have their effects and with few strong points both the marriages system can be described as under:

Positive and Negative aspects of Arranged marriage in Indian Context :

Some people argue that if the partner is chosen by the parents and he/she accepts to fell in marriage, he/she will adjust and compromise to be the perfect one for them and family. But at the same time the possibilities of unsuccessful married life increases because persons might lack the interest in their partner. Arrange marriage is about marrying a stranger. First the couples entered in marriage life and they start understanding each other and in many case their person choice and interests clashes. Hence, they start feeling uncomfortable in marriage. The good aspects of marriage life can be counted as

  • Family feels good and remains supportive as their decision is involved in this.
  • Now a day family also takes consent of the marrying boy or girl. Hence possibilities of misunderstanding diminish.
  • These marriages are socially well recognized.
  • Beliefs, rituals and living style remains almost same in both the families and hence marrying couples finds it easy to manage with new family.

And about negative aspects

  • Couple may feel the mismatch in pairing. Their personal interest may not be satisfied in these marriages.
  • He/she may find to adjust with a complete stranger.
  • Their interest clashes may reach to serious conflicts and worse results.
  • They make lack an emotion bonding that is very much important in marriage relation.

Positive and negative aspects of love marriage in Indian Context:

Love marriage is a most accepted form of marriage in the world. Two peoples meet and make a bonding considering their interest and priorities in life. Then after spending few time with each other as a friend they finally makes their decision about marriage. These types of marriages are based on love, emotional bonding and mutual interest and trust. In India these types of marriages are not acceptable in many communities because of their traditional approach towards these marriages. As discussed above most of the Indian community believes in marrying in same cast and hence they simply oppose love marriages. The positive aspects of love marriages can be counted as:

  • Relations are based on emotional bonding and mutual trust
  • Partner is chosen by the marrying person only hence they feel much comfortable in their marriage life.
  • Better understanding. Better nurturing of a child. A more realistic approach towards life.

Negative aspects are

  • Not very accepted in Indian culture though gaining popularity in India
  • Couples may face social negligence
  • Sometimes family and money issues create problems.

India is seeing a change in marriage trends and soon love marriages will be most popular form of marriage. Love has no boundaries and restrictions and it’s an undisputed fact. Soon the basis of marriage will be love and trust. Love prevails and triumphs.


Raja Kumar

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