Significance of a marriage

A marriage is one of the most important occasions in a person’s life. It can be regarded as one of the milestones in your life. In India, as they say, a marriage is not the union of two people who decide to spend their lives together, but it is the union of two whole families. Families are wed in India. With marriage, comes the new life of new relatives. You meet new people, get to know them and accept them as relatives. Adjusting to these situations is a challenge, but this remains to be the best charm of a marriage.

Challenges in a marriage

With marriage, comes a whole lot of responsibilities. Even though this is not impossible to fulfill, this indeed is a difficult job for everyone. There are several challenges that you might have to face, but overcoming them and having a successful married life is the beauty of it.

If any new bride is asked about her concerns for her post-married life, she will undoubtedly talk about her to-be mother-in-law. Issues with her mother-in-law send chills down a bride’s spine. In India, especially, people talk a lot about this topic and enhance the issue, and it becomes more of a fear for a bride! If you analyze the situation before you get married and take steps to form a successful relationship with your mother-in-law, it might not be that difficult.

How do you deal with your mother-in-law?

First and foremost, we must understand something. During our growing-up phase, we all have small conflicts with our mothers and that leads to minor arguments. However, a mother is the person we trust the most and resort to when we are in maximum trouble. Such is the relationship between a mother and her child. When you get married, you must look at your mother-in-law as your second mother and this will resolve most of the issues. Sometimes, however, the mother of the groom cannot accept a new person in her son’s life and this leads to difficulties. Let us go through a few suggested solutions.

A troublesome mother-in-law is not an unknown concept in India. If you believe she is a difficult person, you might keep yourself detached right from the beginning. In cases like this, giving her the honor of your own mother does not help since she will still treat you as an intruder in her son’s life. If you maintain the minimum relation with her as your husband’s mother and do not try to get overly friendly with her, you should be fine.

Communication with your mother-in-law is one of the best ways to deal with this issue. Sometimes, it is indeed possible to talk to her and make her feel comfortable with you. A little effort from your side can help secure your relationship with her. If you happen to share similar interests in music or cooking, try to get acquainted with her on those grounds. Play her favorite music, or cook something she appreciates. In this way, you get the chance to talk to her and also look over small differences that may arise between the two of you. Your husband’s mother is extremely possessive of her son, and so it becomes difficult to accept someone new in his life. You can help her accept this change.

Your mother-in-law will obviously be very critical of you. She will point out your smallest mistakes because she finds it difficult to adjust with you. Your best shot at solving this problem is giving her fewer occasions to criticize you. You can indeed put in a little more effort to perfect your actions and jobs. This way she will find fewer faults in you and tend to accept her daughter-in-law. Sometimes, you can even filter the offensive statements she makes in the beginning, and once you look past it, you will realize that they were petty issues. This will hugely help you mend your relationship with your mother-in-law.

However, sometimes after all this attempts, you still are a failure at building up a harmonious relationship with your mother-in-law. No matter how much you try, she does not want to cooperate. In this situation, it is necessary that you talk to your spouse about this. Your partner has spent so many years of his life with her and you have to talk to him nicely to explain the situation to him. It is indeed difficult for him to be a husband and son at the same time, and there is immense pressure on him already. At this point, you have to fit yourself in his shoes and try to explain the situation to him. You must emphasize on the fact that you realize she loves him and is concerned about him. You could maybe try telling him that you would not let any of your family members talk to him in such a manner. If your husband is cooperative enough, he is expected to understand the issue.

Sometimes relatives can be of help in these situations. There are always a few people in the family who are extremely close to your mother-in-law. Talk to them about the issue, explain it well, and make sure you do not sound offensive or blame your mother-in-law. Once you tell them about this problem, they can talk to your mother-in-law and help you both deal with this situation. Outsiders in this case can actually help. This will give a third person’s perspective to your mother-in-law. She might look at the problem in a different way and act accordingly. She needs to be shown the right way in such a situation.

These suggestions might help solve your issues with your mother-in-law. Sometimes, you may find your mother-in-law to be friendly and she might treat you like a new daughter. You may consider yourself lucky in these cases. So, it is not always a problem. There are high chances that your mother-in-law treats you well because you must remember your partner, whom you love and respect, has been brought up by her, with her values and ethics. So if you respect your husband, he is a reflection of her teachings.

Raja Kumar