Foundations of a relationship

Relationships are based on mutual trust on each other, mutual dependencies on each other and love for each other. Respect for each other’s feelings and emotions and showing concern for each other and being with each other through thick and thin forms the foundation of any sweet relation. Love is a beautiful emotion and a relationship is a symbol of love. Love can be expressed in many ways and its expression varies from person to person. Some believe that couples sharing similar interests and hobbies and thoughts have a successful relationship whereas some consider that opposites attract, that is people with dissimilar interests bring balance in the relationship by overcoming the shortcomings of each other.

A relationship is a beautiful conglomeration of various human sentiments and emotions. Understanding your partner and cooperating with him/her strengthens the relationship. Unconditional love between partners is one of the most vital aspects of a relation and it is equally necessary to show your partner that you love him/her. Apart from these feelings, financial status, interests, priorities, ambitions and background of a person tend to have an effect on the relationship. Thus, one cannot define a relationship in its absolute sense. It is not a set of protocols or laws which one should follow in order to have a happy relationship with the partner. It’s about knowing your partner well, understanding and loving him/her.

Materialistic outlook in a relationship

We have quite often heard that “a relationship is based on feelings for each other and not on money”, but if we probe deep into the matter, is that really so? Isn’t the answer a bit controversial? Can anyone say that money really makes no difference in a relation, especially in the present times?

Relationships are one of the most pure forms of love expressed. Ideally, materialistic outlook in any relationship is gravely condemned. A relationship shouldn’t be any means to satisfy the greed or ambitions of a person. It tarnishes the very essence of purity and selfless attitude. At the same time, has anyone thought that without money how things can change? After all, theoretical attitude hardly applies in reality, isn’t it?

Often, we find that disagreement over financial issues lead to divorces. It is important to take care of such sentimental matters with subtlety. No matter how cruel it sounds, if financial status is very important to a person, then he/she should give it a thought before starting the relationship than screwing it up badly after commitment. This will at least save the couple from the heartbreak and emotional turmoil. One should know where to draw the line. Sometimes, unequal income causes a rift between partners mostly because of ego clashes. People should be able to come out of the mould and sort out the problem through discussion. If a person in a relationship feels humiliated because of less income then it is the duty of his partner to make him feel special and tell him that money is not the only ground to judge a person. It is a matter of adjustment. Stop your ego and take the initiative to sort it out.

In a male dominated country like India, if the female earns more than her male partner, the society considers it humiliating. So, to some extent the societal outlook also affects the thoughts of a person. No one wishes to be embarrassed on financial grounds. Sometimes, certain comments from one’s partner hurt a person.  Sometimes, people compare themselves with others and this leads to grave consequences. Quite often, we make remarks like “she is so lucky to have him after all he lavishes her with everything she wants” or “why don’t you do something to earn more; it is difficult to continue like this”. These sensitive comments can hurt anyone.

The situation worsens where only one of the partners is working and the other is a housewife. Financial crisis causes stress and depression. We see that so many problems can crop up in a relationship on monetary issues.

Importance of money in a relationship

It is true that money does matter in a relationship but it’s not everything. Sufficient money is necessary for sustenance of a decent life but craving for excess of it is sheer greed that gravely affects any relation. Lavish shopping and lifestyle doesn’t give you the ultimate happiness in life and so it shouldn’t be the sole aim of our life. Both the partners should try to be thrifty when dealing with expenses. They should make a budget so that it becomes easy to keep a track of finances and this will certainly reduce many problems. We should also believe that money doesn’t define a person, there is more to it. Tell your partner that you don’t care about what the world says about you two. Make him feel that he is the world to you and means everything to you.

In a relationship, financial stability is important but that shouldn’t be the only criteria to sustain a relation. One should be able to look above the materialistic benefits. Money alone cannot bring happiness. At the same time, only love is not enough to sustain relationship. Everyone should try to have a balanced life. If you are happy, let not your financial problems affect your relationship. Try to look beyond the horizon.

If ever you find yourself in this kind of situation, do not feel embarrassed or hesitant to have a candid conversation with your partner in this regard. Sometimes a person having a luxurious lifestyle may find it difficult to adjust if the partner is not of his/her stature. So, think a thousand times about it before commitment. Although it apparently sounds absurd, try to be in a relationship where disparities in income or even other issues are less. It’s true that you don’t decide who you fall in love with and it is up to destiny yet, love never promises a beautiful relationship. Life is not a bed of roses. Have faith in your love for each other and have faith in your relationship. Remember, money is not everything.

Raja Kumar