It can be emotionally very draining when you come to know that you r husband is cheating in you. Initially there is   a great amount for shock when you come to know about your husband’s fling but if you have the desire to make it work then n one can stop you from making the marriage successful. Firstly you need to understand why the husband has an extramarital affair at the first place.

 

For extramarital affairs of your husband one can get immediate divorce to about forgiveness. However some time a couple might chose on the middle path owing to a number of complications such as the marriage and the number of kids or financial dependency.

 

Sometime couples try to tide over the crisis when they have recollected some happy moments together in the past and try to make the marriage work.

 

It is important to understand why infidelity occurs in any marriage. It is because there is a total breakdown in marriage and both of the parties find it difficult to join the fragmented pieces order and that is why there is an extra marital affair. The breakdown of marriage gives rise to infidelity.

 

However once you have found about your husband’s extramarital affair you should first of all have   discussion with him and ask him to tell you all the details. Generally all the modes of communication between a couple break done when there are tensions between the husband and the wife. Both the husband and the wife should sit down together and discuss their problems and find out a solution of their problems.

 

However if both of you decide to make the marriage work then there has to be mutual understanding between the two Trust has to be restored within a period of time so that the relationship can work. The husband must make an effort to make the marriage work and must communicate the feeling that there is sense of remorse. It needs time and both of them should evaluate their relationship together and find out ways to help it back to normal.

 

If you want the marriage to work both of them should make an initiative not to use any demeaning worse be respectful towards each other as that worsens the situation

 

It also depends on the couple whether they decide to work together they should seek counselors help and this can prove to be very useful.

 

Counselors also work on the aspect of the partner where the partner feels cheated and thinks that she is not worthy of nay love and feels low . The counselor in this case helps in building trust and also helps in building faith in oneself that she deserves love of someone. We often blame ourselves when a marriage does not work but instead of blaming each other we must dwell on our relationship and the relationship that we share with our spouse.

 

Suppose you have very strong feelings about each other then try and reconcile with another and make it work if you want to stay together. Find a counselor who will sort out all your problems and also guide you about how to go through this process. Try not to bring the topic of infidelity in front of your husband every now and then and this will make the situation more tense and it will be difficult to heal the wounds.

 

Once you get to know about your husband’s infidelity there is natural tendency to cheat to take revenge. However no matter how strongly you feel to cheat you should refrain from doing do as it further worsens the situation and make things very difficult to reconcile.

 

Many men often resort to infidelity when they are not getting enough attention from their partner and therefore you could also learn from the experience. Shower your husband with love and affections that there is no room for infidelity .Try to find out the root cause of infidelity and work on them. Sometimes husbands also resort to fling just for adventure and fun. This can be very short-lived and things will get back to normal once the realization hits the husband that cheating on your partner is not right.

 

However if remorse is nowhere to e seen on your partners face then it is time you got in touch with counselor.

 

Counselors often cite various reasons for infidelity such as some attention that was showered by this special, somebody and when that special someone made him feel great.

Sometimes husbands are attracted to someone for no specific reason and just happen to be attracted for no reason at all.

 

If you have an affair yourself your husband might cheat on you to take revenge and might cheat himself. Sometimes such kind of behavior also arises from home or  a troubled past  for example growing up with  a mother who did not care much about her children and therefore it can be the root cause of such problems .

 

Sometimes a husband cheats on his wife just for happiness. He might find a reason to escape from home and therefore resort to infidelity .Boredom often creeps into any relationship so some men cheats on their wife. Its time both of you think about the fun filled moments that you had before and work on them.

 

Quite often it has also been observed that due to any sudden illness there are some hardships that one encounters especially looking after the ailing which takes up most of the time and therefore partner might need a release to get out from the hectic routine. Once the health of the partner starts improving things finally settle down. Infidelity can also rise from a feeling of not feeling wanted in the company of the partner so make sure that you make your partner feel loved and wanted .

An old flame might get back in the picture and your husband might feel tempted to start an affair which can be again very short-lived.

 

So it is important to find out the reasons behind infidelity and work on them for successful life ahead.

Whatever your reason for being unfaithful, the above are only factors that may have led up to your having a marital affair.  They are not excuses – you made choices.  If you are dealing with infidelity or a extramarital affair, it will end in tears for at least one of the parties – if it hasn’t already.


Raja Kumar

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